spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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