Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
