i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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