Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
