youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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