I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
