$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I don't think brook has ever known best
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
did i walk over a car last night?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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