moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
