Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I want to be your penis for a week.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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