dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
