hotel room ftw
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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