so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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