Having a random hookup so left but love u
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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