She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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