yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
