absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
