I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
