was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
