YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
