Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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