i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
