If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
