I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
