areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
