Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I need water and some morals
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
