It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
