people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
