I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
