does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
