rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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