My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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