I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
