I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
