i just wanna soil my oats bro
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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