Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
