The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
