Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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