k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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