they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
