I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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