So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
