Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
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Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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