Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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