I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
