I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
