You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
they need to just BURY HIM!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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