Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
