Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
