just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
