OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
