So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
