happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
where does the pee come out of this thing
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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