how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize