Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize