I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize