I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
