You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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