my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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