My pussy is not your playground.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
