pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize