i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize