it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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