I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize