I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
