K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
