Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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